strawberry blonde

Sometimes I get flashbacks. Strawberry blonde, sweet smell, contagious smile... One second I'm driving on the highway and the next I'm in my past. I wonder if everybody gets flashbacks like that. People don't know when they change someones life, when one word changes their destiny. One action can change the world. Might not be my world. I might not even see that world. Might never find out about it. Or maybe...I just see it in my dream. Maybe when I sleep I get to experience what life was like before...

@темы: dreams, descisions

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Couldn't sleep

Couldn't fall asleep last night. Talking about past brought on so many memories. Like fuck! I'm hitting 30 next year. 30 years worth of memories and some of the favorites are still from before I turned 23. Seems that everything worthy happened all within 5 years. Now it's all just work, business, money, bills... Or maybe I'm just heartless now. Nothing phases me, nobody I care about.

Also I was dreaming about Moscow. Something is calling me back there.

@темы: memories, dreams, future

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Some memories make you who you are today.

Ee obraz na serdce visechen

@темы: music, memories

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Vortex

Finally. All the documents are signed, everything good to go. Just waiting for the design center to give me a call. Hopefully my new home will be built by November. I feel all grownup now, in the vortex of routines. Now only if I didn't have any problems waking up at 5am...

Also Canada day is around the corner. 8 years in Canada.

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Old time

Everything is so different now then 10 years ago. Where did the time go! Everybody changed their lives, ways of living. What changes their minds? What changed them?

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Everyday minutes

It's unbelievable that most of the day I spend at work. And when I'm not at work, I'm still working. If not physically - mentally. Constantly I am thinking about improving my business, my clients business, my work performance. There is just no time for anything else. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed with all the information, ideas, timelines. And I find myself looking at my schedule every hour, at my clock every few minutes. The day is racing away. And all that to reach the goals, to have things, to go places. It's unfortunate that we don't get to enjoy retirement first and work for it later.

@темы: work, day-to-day

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Хоть вешайся..

Каждый день как-то проходит мимо без следа. Сон, утро, работа, сауна, домои и на беговую дородку, книга или кино и спать. День сурка... Когда гуляю со знакомыми в голове заседает что это все пустая трата времени. В чем смысл? Хочется семьи, каких-то совместных целей, детеи. Только сил больше не осталось на любовь. Да и вера в это высокое и прекрасное чувство где-то потерялась. Буду искать...

@темы: self loathing

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Новый год новые начала

Мой подарок себе на этот новый год стала новая жизнь… Пока что эта жизнь не наполнена счастьем но с чего-то надо начинать.

Познакомьтесь с моим первым новогодним приключением

@темы: photos